Day 80

You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible ~ Deepak Chopra

Okay I have to be honest here. Today, the last thing I wanted to do was go to a yoga class/information session. I was feeling crummy and blah most of the day (girl issues), and also kind of bloated and uncomfortable and just …UGH. And after spending this whole last weekend at yoga teacher training class, the last thing I feel like doing is heading back there for the trauma sensitive yoga information session and yoga class.

But then I thought to myself, don’t be ridiculous, Caitlin! You are not wanting to go to YOGA?! It’s Yoga for ****sake! There are a zillion things (literally probably!) that are worse than going to a yoga class. And it’s only for an hour and 15 minutes.

But it’s this weather. This time of year. Where it gets SO DARK, SO EARLY. And it feels like 10pm when it’s only 5pm. Which makes me just want to curl into a ball on the couch when I get home from work and not leave.

I just got home from the info session and class and really enjoyed it. It was such a different experience from ‘regular’ yoga – more calming, relaxing, and a comfortable, safe, inviting environment. We did really relaxing poses – and the teacher never actually mentioned any name of any pose and gave us a variety of choices or options for each pose – and always ‘invited’ us to come into a pose – a suggestion, if it is comfortable for us. The teacher asked us to be aware of what we felt with each pose – an inquiry into our own bodies and thinking about how we feel with each pose and with our breat.

The poses we did were:

shavasana – lying on our back (or remaining sitting) and finding our breath; we hugged one knee into our chest, then the other, and then both, rocking back and forth. then moved into happy baby and then rolling over to sit up where we did a lateral side stretch, forward fold (seated) and a crossed legs twist. It was a half hour class but seemed to go by in the blink of an eye! The teacher’s language was different from other yoga classes – she removed commands like ‘I want you to’, and instead ‘invited’ us to do things (if we wanted to). And she also let us know what she was doing -when she sat to observe us while we did a pose, or if she had to get up to move to the back of the room (for example to let in a latecomer).

Trauma sensitive yoga is definitely a modality I want to learn and a direction I want to move in once I finish the ‘standard’ YTT training! I want to be able to really help people who may have issues – depression, anxiety, addiction or other forms of trauma. As the teacher said, all of us are trauma survivors in some form – an interesting way to think about it. I am a trauma survivor, having a family member who was an alcoholic, as well as mental health issues (like depression). Because I grew up in that environment, I want to do something to help others who may be in a similar situation (themselves specifically or from a similar environment etc).





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